When Success Feels Out of Reach, It’s Time to Look Inward

When money, love, relationships, and success don’t feel like they’re within reach for feminine beings, there is something unresolved in your nervous system and subconscious.

There is a barometer of how much we can receive (a feminine trait) which is often set well below what we desire.

Re-evaluating Goals Set from Fear, Not Your Heart’s Desires

Think of the goals you have set. Are they in line with what you truly desire? Or are they set from a place of fear and stress (and ultimately ego)?

“When I, Then I…” Syndrome is where we set goals to work towards, burn out in the process, and desperately want to hit them so we can feel safe, loved, appreciated or valued.

We automatically flip into a wounded stance of doing more to get more, which takes us further away from our natural feminine energy. We feel that we have to “get it right”, be perfect, learn more, prove harder, and work longer to make progress.

The Heavy Price of Constant Doing, Proving and Perfecting

This response to setting goals is a stress response that we have embedded into us as conditioning from the masculine. We’re not designed to do. We overwork, overgive, over “perfect” to prove we are worthy of love, money, success, safety, being seen.

Doing is a protection mechanism to prevent us from feeling.

How to Break Free of the Victim Mentality Trap

We then fall into victim mode of believing that we’ll never receive what we desire and get stuck in a loop of trying, failing, burning out, recovering and starting again. Frustration sets in and hopelessness becomes our default.

To release ourselves from the wounded expression of victim mode, we need to give ourselves what we desire first.

We’re not chasing things, love, money or success. We’re chasing the feeling it will give us.

If you desire money to feel safe, find safety in your own body first. If you desire love or success to feel seen and validated, acknowledge yourself with self-love first.

When we say that success is an inside job, we really mean it.

When we were growing up, we maybe didn’t receive all the things we deserved as humans – love, care, attention, safety. These are all needed for us to thrive. And if we weren’t given these freely, then we get to cultivate those things for ourselves.

We are whole whether the outside world reflected that back to us or not.

Signs you are not living from a place of wholeness:

• Pushing, hustling, and overworking (physically and mentally) to get somewhere. Yes, there is a healthy expression of working hard, but this is the wounded energy of “hustle culture”.

• Living in your head, overthinking, linear/logical thinking, time obsession (never enough time, it’s taking too long) which leaves no space for intuition, synchronicity, wonder and chance.

• The unhealthy expression of addiction (money, attention, success, social media, overindulgence) is an avoidance of feeling. Distraction from being present and feeling is easy to do in the modern world.

• And when we do allow ourselves to feel, we’re low energy, low vibe, stressed, angry, frustrated with the world. Again, living from a place of stress will naturally show up as your nervous system is activated.

• Or the other expression is numbness, zoning out, people-pleasing, forgetfulness. Our nervous system is running the show and we’re slaves to it. We try to make sense of our body signals with our mind instead of tending to our nervous system as a friend.

First Find Wholeness Within, Then Watch Your Outer World Transform

When we feel, we can heal.

When we allow ourselves to get curious about how we are feeling, we begin to unravel from our wounded masculine energy of proving, hustling, doing, and thinking. Settling into our feminine energy is not an easy task when we are showing that feeling/emotion isn’t something that “gets us anywhere”. However, when we allow the naturalness of being in our body to begin to be acknowledged, we begin to heal and integrate parts of ourselves that have been hidden.